He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
