At least make sure they are 18
Why
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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