lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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