I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize