Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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