I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
