I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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