carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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