Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
