we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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