I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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