ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize