That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
