You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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