You can't special order awesome
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
