she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
