Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
