I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
