dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
