don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
