OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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