i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
