Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
