I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize