It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
