i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
