If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
