oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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