Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
