Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize