Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
