Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
