are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
