That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
