p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
