Need sex. Gaining weight.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize