Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
