i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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