It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize