So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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