so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
True but thats because hes a fetus.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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