she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize