Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
