the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
