they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize