Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
