then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize