I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
