I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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