I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
