oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
