I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
