Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
COCAINE IS GR8
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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