I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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