How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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