Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
