Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
