chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
