ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
