Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Also, beer. Big fan.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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