He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
