I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
