let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
