i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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