Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
