i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
