I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
