Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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